Thursday 11 March 2010

DR. JOHN I'VE HAD YET ANOTHER STRANGE DREAM......
- Good grief man....this is getting serious...
- I know....and what's more, it's another dream which involves me dying .......but thankfully the ending is not so bad
- So please tell me about it ........
- Well, I'm at the club playing another mundane session of duplicate bridge. However, unbeknown to us all, a gas leak in the cellar had gone undetected for over 4 hours. Then at 8-30 pm, when the central heating boiler switched itself on, the ignition light caused a massive explosion. This brought the building down with no one coming out alive.
But contrary to what atheists believe, we all got to meet our maker. He was incredibly concerned and sympathetic, and as a result he offered to grant each one of us a single wish....before entering paradise. When all the deceased players lined up, everyone who stepped forward made the one same wish : " I want to be a much better bridge player than I was during my time on earth ". So God, being true to his word, granted these wishes on the snap of his fingers. This went on until he came to me.....the last in line.......the one and only Howard Bigot Johnson.
God could not help noticing the huge grin on my face, as he asked me what wish I wanted. In a flash I replied : " Turn all those sods back to the useless bumbledogs they once were......"
- Hmmm....it seems to me Bigot that your persecution complex causes you to resent and dread the notion that others ....should they became as good as you at bridge...... would then undermine your ability to remain top dog. Mentally speaking..... you are an incurable mess !
- Bugger....

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