Saturday 23 July 2011

THE SLAUGHTER HOUSE BRIDGE CLUB DISCIPLINARY HEARING No. 47
( The reverend Dr. Willoughby Shott was brought before the three man disciplinary committee, chaired by the infamous Bigot-Johnson with Reggie and Ronnie in attendance. The reverend was being charged with carrying out activities deemed to be injurious to the character and interests of the club. He had foolishly decided to petition for the reinstatement of Percy Pantopod and others, following their expulsion from the club on the night of the AGM fiasco. A short extract from the hearing's transcript can be seen below. )
B-J : You sir are a subversive, an agitator, a troublemaker, a rebel, a renegade and a reprobate, who has deliberately set out to undermine the committee's authority......and the good name of this club
Rev : But I only asked people to sign a petition, which was designed to correct an injustice done by you......... against innocent members of this club
B-J : Listen you bible bashing bastard.....it is clear to us that you have set out to expose me and my cronies as a bunch of corrupt, lying, cheating, bullying and despotic toss-pots. This outrageous petition serves as evidence of defamation and incitement.....as well as.....open rebellion and warfare. Not only is it injurious to the character and interests of the club, it is a slur upon, and a condemnation of , those wonderful members who..... through their votes........ placed their trust in us to run the club.
Rev : But I have a right to petition........
B-J : Not on these premises ...... you would have been wiser to have done your petitioning elsewhere
Rev : Surely I can approach club members anywhere I like to discuss matters of real concern ?
B-J : You just don't get it.....PETITIONS HERE ARE BANNED......and so will you be, Willoughby, if you continue to witter on....
Rev : Might I remind you that the Right of Petition in the UK came about in 1628, when parliament decreed that any individual is allowed to petition against an authoritative body or institution to seek redress for a perceived injustice.
Indeed, petitions are an inherent symbol of our democratic heritage, a statement that endorses our right to free speech, freedom of association. ........our right to express disapproval in a civilised manner, to openly criticise and challenge the decisions of governing bodies.
In a democracy like ours where one might have to wait for the next election to redress grievances, there is still the option of a petition to bring about decision changes ......quickly, quietly and without fuss. Therefore, any attempt to stifle or silence petitioners, or to chastise and punish them, is tantamount to an abuse of power.
One has to accept that there will always be ongoing conflicts between organisations and individuals......but to impose restrictions on individuals to petition, or to suppress the aims and objectives of that petition, is in my view an infringement of their constitutional rights......
B-J : I've heard enough of this clap trap.......you are talking a load of bollocks......What do you think Ronnie ?
Ronnie : Get rid of him.....
B-J : And you, Reggie ?.....
Reggie : Leave it to me.......I'll see that he doesn't bother us anymore....
B-J : Good thinking....and so on that note I declare this hearing is at a close.....
Ronnie : Reg....go get the van and a bag of ready concrete mix.......we've a job to do

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