Friday 9 December 2011

AS AN AGEING BRIDGE PLAYER YOU KNOW YOU'RE OVER THE HILL WHEN.....
- two hands are needed to hold the weight of 13 cards
- it takes 3 or 4 attempts to pick out the right card from the bidding box
- happy smiling bridge players come across as really annoying
- being dummy even puts you under stress
- the highlight of your evening is a 50% board
- following suit is the one skill you have left
- acting " grumpy " becomes your permanent default mode
- partner sensibly carries the first aid box around with him
- asked about previous boards you simply can't recall them
- the only thing you exercise is caution
- novice opponents even relish the opportunity of coming to your table
- getting up from your seat is done in stages
- compass readings are necessary to find the North seat
- bidding constantly reaches the point where your ability and technique are sadly wanting
- regular partners keep having to re-introduce themselves
- having never got to the top of the hill you wonder how it is possible to be over it

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