Sunday 10 June 2012

BIGOT GETS A BOLLOCKING.........

( After losing an intercity league match against a bunch of puddings , the captain of the Walnut Tree Allotment A Team rounded on Bigot in no uncertain way . Here is a short extract from the conversation that took place during the post-match briefing. )

Captain ( C)  : Your score card Bigot was a disgrace......and it was all down to you that we lost this match......
B-J : Things didn't go my way......
C : Rubbish......you were going down in games and slams that were making.....without any difficulty....on the other three tables
B-J : Those contracts went off because finesses failed .....nasty trump breaks....and other suits not behaving...
C : You butchered those hands because you failed to engineer simple throw ins , end plays , cross ruffs , squeezes.....and essential unblocking plays . It seemed obvious to your partner , and those looking on , that you played each hand without  a plan in mind
B-J :  Too bloody right I did.... 
C : Well , what in God's name made you do that ?
B-J : About a month back I read a book by an eminent philosopher who said if you don't have a plan then nothing can go wrong.... 
C : Bigot....you are without doubt a complete and utter prat ....and what's more you have played your last match for us.......you're fired !
B-J : Bugger...

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