Friday 17 August 2012

DONCASTER CC v. SLAUGHTER HOUSE BC (2012)

( In a landmark House of Lords ruling ,  the Slaughter House Bridge Club was found guilty of an offence under the Disability Discrimination Act 2005. Bigot Johnson , chairman and self-appointed counsel for the defence , appealed to have  the Crown Court verdict overturned , but the Law Lords were having none of it . A short extract from the trial's transcript can be seen below. )

Law Lord (LL) : Bigot-Johnson .....you and your disreputable club have been found guilty of discrimination against a poor , unfortunate , severely disabled member
B-J : You're pulling my plunger.....
LL : Not so.... you cruelly suspended this member for 6 months..... a decent lovely woman, Eve Detser , for nothing more than standing up and shouting out a lot of " f " words during a Tuesday night duplicate....
B-J :  I should say no.....the woman was lucky not to lynched there and then.....her language was atrocious....the loud , vile ,  vulgar , uncouth bitch
LL : But she suffered from Tourettes.....
B-J : She had to go.....far too many members were offended by her outburst
LL : Whatever you think.....her outburst was hardly motivated by malice , vindictiveness or sheer bloodymindedness........she fell victim to her very unfortunate and unforgiving disability
B-J : Listen...her profanity and use of expletives would have made a dead man blush.....
LL : Nevertheless....your committee has over the years allowed the woman to renew her membership fully aware that she had Tourette's Syndrome
B-J : Yes...
LL :  Yet it is clearly evident that she had been discriminated against purely on the basis of her disability...
B-J : What.rubbish.........for a start discrimination can only be established if the club had treated her less favourably than non-disabled members facing disciplinary charges.....which we  never have . Why , the Slaughter House committee has always thrown the book at any foul mouthed pantopod who stepped out of line. 
LL :  That may well be so....but tell me Bigot are there members in your club who suffer from epilepsy and diabetes? 
B-J : Yes...
LL: And do you consider their conditions as " disabilities " ?
B-J : Yes...yes
LL :: And haven't these members also been involved in incidents , where their condition has suddenly caused them to lose control....to fall victim to involuntary movements and automaton behaviour  ....such as suddenly collapsing ....falling on tables in play.....causing damage to property and in some cases injuries to others ?   
B-J : Yes...yes... yes
LL : Moreover , didn't you and other committee members rally round , offering them immediate medical assistance , sympathy and support 
B-J : Yes.....yes
LL : And no disciplinary proceedings were ever taken against them ?
B-J : Of course not.....
LL : So how come you rounded on poor Eve .....when her disability caused her to lose control and fall victim to an involuntary outburst of harmless " f " words ?
B-J : Oow..er...
LL : Yes , Bigot Johnson....... you and your cronies clearly treated her far less favourably than those suffering from epilepsy and diabetes......
B-J : Oh bugger......
LL : So based on that analysis and irrefutable argument ,  your appeal is to be dismissed. The guilty verdict still stands.......and now sir your club has got a rather hefty legal bill to pay.....
B-J : Bugger...bugger....bugger 
  

  

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