THE SLAUGHTER HOUSE BRIDGE CLUB'S  PERSONAL SPECIFICATION FOR THE POST OF ORDINARY COMMITTEE MEMBER.....

The ideal candidate should possess :
- a lust ( or craving ) for the trappings of power
- a predisposition to allow bias and prejudice to colour his/her judgement 
- gerrymandering skills which politicians would be proud of
- a high tolerance for ambiguity, misinformation, and lack of information
- a tendency or preoccupation to let irrelevant concerns govern critical decisions 
- an innate psychological trait to be forever in denial
- a belief that loyalty is of paramount importance no matter how misguided
- a natural instinct to be both subservient and compliant 
- a firm belief that free speech, free thinking and free spirit have no place in committees
- a sheep-like mentality alongside the wisdom of a lemming
- a predisposition to be easily manipulated, corrupted, brain-washed and indoctrinated by
  bullying, unscrupulous, and devious leaders
- a willingness to take on the role of a " yes " person having a non-confrontational attitude, 
  and a strong desire to please those in authority
- wimpish and cowardly character traits
- a passionate desire and commitment to be a hard working, obedient team player
- a deep seated fear ( or hatred ) of pantopods