Wednesday 28 August 2013

ANOTHER
SNIPPET
FROM
ONE OF
BIGOT-
JOHNSON'S
TRIALS

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Judge : What you again, Bigot !  What in heaven's name are you being charged with now ?
B-J : Public nuisance of all things. Neighbours are claiming the Slaughter House Bridge Club is attracting the wrong sort of individuals into the area , alleging that what goes on inside my premises are the activities and practices of devil worshippers, sadists and lunatics . At top of that they complain about the disruptive use of road side parking by our members, the frequent and noisy disturbances caused by partnership altercations getting out of control, and the excessive number of dangerously large holes being dug all over the grounds.
Judge : Oh....
B-J : Indeed, what do they expect when I choose to set up an exclusive club for fun loving revellers in a quiet law abiding, church going residential district. Why one of them even alleged that my large front of property neon sign was an offensive eyesore, when it carried the message : " would all members please make their entry by the back passage ". 
Judge : Yes....yes.....but I see what they are coming from ......so I take it then Bigot .......you will be defending yourself as you have always done ?
B-J : Not this time your Honour.....I've called in Naomi Sanders right at the death.....she's a top class lawyer who specialises in getting guilty people off  
Judge : Well, I assume she has managed to look at your briefs ?
B-J : No...... not really.......the poor woman tried but the putrid smell overcame her.....I haven't got round to changing them in weeks.....       

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