Monday 20 January 2014

A LITTLE LATER ON..................

Judge : Now let's move onto the hearing itself....
B-J : Yes....let's
Judge : Was Pantopod afforded all his legal rights ?
B-J : Rights ?....What rights ?
Judge : Rights laid down under the club's constitution and the law of the land
B-J : Rights?....What rights ?
Judge : The right to be given proper notice regarding all the charges made against him....the right to know the full implications of the hearing and whether or not his membership was at risk....the right to be represented.......to challenge the evidence against him.....to cross-examine his accusers.....the right to offer an explanation for his actions.....to plead mitigating circumstances.....the right to put up a robust and vigorous defence 
B-J : But a semblance of a defence was put up by someone
Judge : By whom ?
B-J : A rogue committee member who...... having succumbed to an unfortunate twinge of guilt....felt it necessary to act as the devil's advocate.......and provide a woefully ill-prepared and inadequate defence on Pantopod's behalf.......one which the rest of us ignored completely and dismissed out of hand
Judge : Oh.....but why wasn't Pantopod there to defend himself ?
B-J : He wasn't invited.....we used our discretion , which we were entitled to do..... under the constitutional rules......to conduct the hearing without him
Judge : Please explain why ?
B-J : Well ..er....well...er...well , the inner circle took the view there was no point in him being there. All the committee members bar one , namely the half-wit , instinctively knew beforehand what had to be done....and what action was desperately called for....... indeed , for Pantopod the writing was on the wall
Judge : And what desperately needed action had you all in mind ?
B-J : To give Panto his just desserts.....to inflict upon him the maximum penalty.......to terminate his membership there and then....and to banish him forever
Judge : But wasn't that punishment extreme ?......
B-J : Extremely lenient......I agree....the bugger really ought to have been shot at dawn
Judge : I'm utterly speechless....
B-J : And so was I when he refused to take his punishment lying down 

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