Sunday 1 February 2015

NEWSFLASH :  RESEARCH SHOWS THAT MALE BRIDGE PLAYERS STRUGGLE WITH LIFE OUTSIDE THE HALLOWED SANCTUARIES OF THEIR BELOVED CLUBS

Male bridge players in particular experience real difficulties in adapting to social situations away from their local bridge clubs.  They struggle to communicate and converse with non-bridge players when invited to a social get-together or party.
The big problem for them is their inability to talk on subjects that are not related to bridge. Apart of making the odd glib statement here and there ,  they quickly run out of conversation . This clearly reflected both a general lack of interest or boredom on issues which have no relevance or meaning in their bridge-dominated lives.
Researchers at the Institute of Pointless Studies found that men , well over to the right on the autistic spectrum ,  were hard-wired to only focus on ( and be obsessed about ) the bidding and play of problem bridge hands. In some social situations most men appeared quietly confident to be part of , and mix in with ,  a large group. They would seem happy to be involved in group photos , asking the odd questions , nodding in agreement when required , but always looking to excuse themselves at the first opportunity. However , beneath the veneer of fake bon hommie , they were clearly experiencing both pain and despair . Not surprisingly , all those surveyed admitted to being ill at ease when conversation drifted into the world of art , culture , politics and economics.
Bridge players , programmed to spend all their time waxing lyrical about aspects of the game they love and cherish , are therefore compelled to find ways to steer conversations back into their comfort zone. If unsuccessful , they quietly drift into a comatose state , lost for words , and staring blankly into space. Not surprisingly , they will suddenly switch themselves back on the moment they are asked an open question as to what been happening in their lives. Having previously nothing to say , they would now jump in all guns blazing on a personal bridge-related matter of concern . In other situations , conversations would be steered back towards bridge , by strategically butting in with topic changing bits of gossip.
On rare occasions , one or two of bridge players  were actually seen initiating an intellectual non-bridge conversation , in which they volunteered opinions and exchanged views on a subject for up to 3 minutes , before smartly twisting the conversation round to their chosen area of expertise. Others who lacked this particular skill spent most of their time in social groups with an apparent anti-social attitude, by religiously adopting a non-communicative state of mind.
Researchers concluded that male bridge players who found themselves marooned from their clubs floundered helplessly in all other social situations.  To suggest they were like fish out of water was by all accounts a gross understatement , given their appalling inability to adapt to different almost alien surroundings.  
  
  


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