Sunday 26 July 2015

DO PROFESSIONAL BRIDGE PLAYERS NEED TO WEAR ID TAGS ?.................. ( Article by Carp )

I don't think so. The whole idea is ludicrous because these mercenaries of the game stand out like a sore thumb. They don't need gold encrusted badges , or neon lights on their heads , to announce their lofty status in the world of bridge : their demeanour , behaviour and mannerisms are a dead giveaway. So here are the most obvious clues to spot a professional when partnering his less experienced sponsor.

1. A complete look of utter disdain and contempt for his partner , the moment he/she makes a 
    mistake
2. Legs akimbo, leaning well back sitting posture which smacks of gross superiority and 
    arrogance
3. The constant barking out of orders one normally associates with a master-servant 
     relationship
4. A rather large bulge under his jacket, being a wallet stuff full of money nesting in the inside 
     pocket ( having of course been handed over up front in the usual tax avoidance brown paper 
     envelope )
5. Expensive clothing and shoes befitting a person with a penchant for lavish living, first class
    accommodation and exclusive members-only restaurants.
6. A Rolex watch which is regularly looked at with despair and disbelief , as the agony of 
    partnering an inferior player never comes to an end , when time seemingly stands still
7. The constant laughing and guffawing during session breaks , when meeting up with fellow
    professionals , as they exchange personal horror stories
8. A rapid exit from the competition in order to get aboard the next plane to meet his busy 
    schedule , with a first class seat reserved and paid for by their next sponsor
9. A stature resembling a portly , rather rotund gentleman used to fine dining and wine. His
    high body mass index reflects far too much time spent sitting down on air travel and bridge
10. An uncontrollable desire to engage in ( a) relentless name-dropping to impress their
    sponsors and (b) the necessary sucking up to powerful well connected sponsors, who can 
    pull a few strings with selectors   
    

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