Wednesday 23 November 2016

BENIGN BRIDGE CLUB ( USA ) : COMMITTEE IMPOSES NEW RULES IN KEEPING WITH THE STRICT ZERO TOLERANCE REGIME


  • The Committee is always right
  • The Committee is never wrong
  • Even if the Committee is wrong no one is allowed to comment on the fact
  • Dissident members are to be classed as the scum of the earth
  • Anyone who is regarded as a dissident member who will hounded out of the club
  • Disciplinary hearings will always be conducted behind closed doors using all the bias and prejudice needed to get the bastards expelled     
  • No one must ever mention the vast sums of money the Committee has wasted on obscene and financially crippling legal fees
  • The Committee believes very strongly in giving members both disinformation and misinformation in order to maintain harmony and contentment within the ranks
  • Elephants do not occupy Committee rooms despite the fact that huge piles of dung have been used as manure on the garden beds 
  • Approved committee members expect to be voted in unopposed at the next AGM
  • Any club member who does not vote properly will be taken to the cellars and starved to death
  • All members will be obliged to swear on the Holy Bible that grovelling compliance , obedience and  loyalty are their primary duties 
  • Every member is required to snitch on any other member who appears to be harbouring negative thoughts , attitudes and concerns about the never-ending shenanigans the Committee constantly get up to 
  • For zero tolerance to work the Committee must be given a free reign to do as it pleases in a climate where forgiveness of human error is not an option 
  • The days of asking errant members to sit on the naughty chairs are well and truly over , as the wood from these chairs will be used to build a state-of-the-art scaffold 



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