Tuesday, 28 March 2017

THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY REVISITED.............

Spade : 

  1.  The boss suit
  2.  A club member of afro-caribbean origion  ( a rare spectacle indeed )
  3.  A handy item to have in the boot of your car when wishing to bury the charred remains of your ex-partner before a missing persons report is filed , or an item which is sorely needed when digging up the dirt on club members you have come to dislike 
  4.  The surname of a  seedy-looking player you once knew called Sam 
Club :
  1. The place where most male members go to escape their wives 
  2.  A highly useful item to have on your person when seeking to end an altercation with a troublesome opponent in a robust and triumphant manner 
  3. What you are likely to put your female partner in when playing away , perhaps succumbing to temptation and/or premature outbursts
  4. An inferior suit which experts like to put to better use by employing a whole raft of artificial bids ( see the prepared club , two-club openers, stayman , gerber , landy )
  5. Capable of having magical properties when opened at the one level by the Northern Pro

2 comments:

Northern Pro said...

You're forgetting my old favourite - The Magic Club

Anonymous said...

Dear Northern Pro....I did forget. Thanks for pointing out my oversight. Error has been corrected.