Friday, 16 June 2017

THINGS THAT REALLY MATTER TO EXECUTIVE OFFICERS OF BRIDGE GOVERNING BODIES....( Article by Carp )


Listed of course in rank order of importance :


  1.  Conducting their meetings and all other business behind closed doors to guarantee absolute privacy and secrecy 
  2. Creating an ever stronger power base capable of suppressing all forms of dissent and criticism
  3. Abusing their power in a multitude of novel and exciting ways in order to achieve personal objectives and ambitions
  4. To pump up their already inflated egos even more
  5. Helping themselves to some extra income and financial benefits , under the pretext reimbursement of expenses and administrative salaries
  6. To win major favours and privileges from those to whom smaller favours and privileges have been handed out 
  7. Revelling in the kudos and prestige of undertaking vitally important roles and functions in the running of the club
  8. To distance themselves at all costs from the rank and file ordinary members , commonly referred to as riff raff
  9. Actively seeking and quickly seizing any other opportunities to gain profit , advantage and benefit to enhance their status and positions within the organisation
  10. To protect the own , to watch out for each other , and to do what is necessary to facilitate effective cover-ups and/or excuses 
  11.  Quick to transfer blame and/or responsibility for any cock-ups , by back-stabbing those deemed as expendable
  12. To spend vast sums of money on the buildings , computers and equipment at the expense of promoting the game to a wider audience and market
  13.  Forever seeing themselves as masters rather than the humble servants of those they are meant to represent
  14. Making decisions based on needs rather than common sense , honesty and integrity
  15. Feigning to take on board the wishes and concerns of the wider membership 

Saturday, 10 June 2017

BRIDGE BOOKS WORTH HAVING A PEEK AT.......( Says Pun )



  • When As Stand By You Are To Partner A New Female Member...........Greta Warmley
  • I Play Bridge Like A Ruthless Psychopathic Highly Advanced Robot.....Cy Borgman
  • I've Just Discovered My Regular Female Partner Is A Lesbian.............Dick D. Kliner
  • I Don't Give A Damn About Our Dreadful Overbearing Chairman.........May E. Rotinelle
  • I'll Tell You Why I Can't Come Out To Play Bridge Tonight.................    Erin Dawes
  • Having Done A Stretch In Prison No Bridge Club Wants Me.................Jay L. Byrd
  • If Someone Catches You Cheating Smile And Plead Innocence...........Fay Kitt
  • She Always Causes A Stir When She Struts Into The Club...................Ed Turner
  • That Man Can't Take His Eyes Of My Lady Partner's Bust.....................C. D. Auldman
  • How Did He Pull Off Making That Seemingly Impossible Slam...............Jimmy Devell