BIGOT-JOHNSON'S SOLUTION TO................ KILLING TIME Owww.....the other day the play was so slow it was a triumph for the snails alright......especially when the TD himself happens to be one of them. So there I was with oceans of time to spare ( on almost each and every round ) pulling out my hair in an attempt to relieve my utter frustration and boredom. So......... determined that none of us quickies should ever fall victim again to these numerous long bouts of inactivity, I have come up with the perfect solution to kill time. Yes, it's my very own " Bigot-Johnson's Activity Box Set " , which we should all carry around with us for such contingencies. Inside this box ( a snip at £40 ) you will find the following items:

• copy of " War and Peace "
• crochet kit
• pack of cards.... alongwith book on patience games
• painting-by-numbers set
• numerous sudoku and crossword puzzles
• bag of meccano pieces
• Rubik's cube
• Connect 4
• sculpturing knife...... plus block of wood
• personal manicure set

So never let these slow coaches drive you into a state of despondency and despair..............get buying, get busy, and really utilise all that spare time. First off perhaps, you could try crocheting a life-like voodoo doll of the snail-incarnate...........because plenty of pins are also included in the kit.