JOHNNY SUPREMO: HOW BAD CAN ANYONE'S DEFENCE GET?..............

• As much as I welcome gifts, earning tops through skill and technical ability will always give me far more pleasure. However, there are occasions when a gift does prove most welcome. In a recent congress, I wasn't quite on top of my game, and I knew that if I was to be in with a shout for a top place, I needed a good board to ensure this penultimate round turned into 20-0 victory. My opponents were a surprise pair of LOLs, one of which was a very able player......but obviously suffering from poor eyesight.
• So there I was in 4S after the bidding went 2S from me (weak), 3D overcall, and 4S from my over-ambitious, or should I say, reckless partner. As he tabled his hand: .....xx.....AQxx.....xxx......KQxx...... my jaw nearly fell to the floor, as it offered little help to me with my: J109xxx...Kxx....xxx.....A...........
• I was looking at three off for minus 300......until divine intervention stepped in. My RHO opponent took the opening king of diamonds lead with her stiff Ace, only to lead back a club. Gratefully seizing this trick with my Ace, I hopped over to dummy via the Ace of hearts to pitch my two diamond losers on the king/queen of clubs. One off now....and I was reasonably happy.
• But happiness turned into sheer joy when the fourth club was ruffed by my RHO opponent with the 3 of spades .....only to be over-ruffed by me. So if the remaining spades were breaking 2-2 the impossible contract was coming home. Next came the jack of spades, taken on my left with the queen, with my RHO opponent playing the 8. On recapturing the heart return with my king, I then volunteered the 10 of spades, taken on my left with the Ace.......but with my RHO discarding the 3 of clubs !!!
• So when the King of spades did appear to set the contract one off.....remarkably it turned up on my right, and so two revokes could now be established. Obviously, the blind old biddy had suited the two black threes incorrectly. With uncharacteristic meanness, I asked for and obtained a two trick adjustment, which meant I recorded a score of +650. This surely raised a few eyebrows for all the other North/Souths who saw the scorecards later.....only to wonder how was it possible for any defence to be that bad ?