THE PERFECT BRIDGE PARTNER..................................................................( Article by Carp ) We all have partners who over time become our favourites for a variety of positive reasons. We accept their limitations in exchange for their acceptance of ours, but more often than not we are happy in the knowledge that their good points outweigh the bad. When I was asked about the qualities of "my ideal partner" , I decided to bite the bullet and come clean with open, honest and candid views on their character traits:

• thick skinned .............can handle repeated and endless criticism
• anti-hog bidder............I get to play most of the contracts
• inward looking............ oblivious to any of my mistakes
• delusional...................perceives me as the expert
• lives nearby................ free lifts to and from the club
• wooden and predictable.......dummy never disappoints having what he/she promised
• generous.....................first (and last) to buy the two rounds of drinks
• reasonably competent........capable of bunny-bashing like myself
• obedient......................follows my instructions to the letter
• unquestioning............. never one to argue
• humble and self-effacing.......always prepared to take the blame
• masochistic.................views my sarcastic insults as " colourful witty banter"
• unflappable................. oblivious to opponents with grandmaster credentials
• good at maths............. can count to thirteen

Sadly for me the perfect partner does not exist, but the quest to find one still goes on............