TIME FOR A CHANGE.......SO BRING ON THOSE OSCARS ( Article by Carp ) Let's face it.....for most bridge clubs, competition trophies have had their day. With declining membership numbers, club events pull in less and less entrants. This means, more often than not, the same old faces walking off with the silverware. Perhaps, it also reflects the fact that very few competitions are handicapped, enabling pairs and teams from the upper echelons in class and ability to succeed time and time again. Well, surely it's time for clubs to consider alternative awards, which are up for grabs for all members,providing real opportunities for new faces to enjoy the limelight.....and gain recognition for their outstanding achievements. The solution is so straightforward and simple: clubs must set up their own Oscar awards. This could be done as part of a big social event with music, food and entertainment thrown in for good measure. These golden awards ( no expense should be spared ) can cover a vast range of achievements. So I have compiled a suggested list to get the ball rolling so to speak:

• Best HISTRIONICS award for the player who indulged in the most blatant exhibition of over-reacting to partner's unfortunate errors
• The PUFF ADDER award for the most self-deluded player who acts as though he/she is one of the club's rising stars
• BEST DIRECTOR award for the most courageous TD, having made decisions made against high profile but very intimidating players
• The EXCALIBAR award for up to 2/4 players who performed beyond their....and everyone else's ......widest expectations, putting many illustrious opponents to the sword
• Best SUPPORTING ROLES award for both male and female, whose winning performances upstaged those of their top-of-the-billing partners and/or team-mates
• The BEST ANIMATOR award for the player who elected to act the goat in an important match, just because he/she thought fooling around with the bidding might produce a few good scores
• The KAMA SUTRA award for the most prolific 69-ers, who regularly get their act together to produce scores in excess of 69%
• The BROKEN WATCH award for the player who recorded the slowest ever play of the cards, which brought both the table and time itself to a complete and utter standstill
• The SOUR GRAPES award for the most petulent display by a player with regards to the making a scene and the a never-to-be forgotten dramatic exit
• The HUFF AND PUFF award for the player whose wolf-like performance at the bridge table brought the house down, with kibitzers utterly captivated and blown away by such outrageous and ingenious play
• The ICARUS award for the player who, after scaling the dizzy heights of stardom and flying high, made the most spectacular fall back to earth with a scorecard steeped in shame
• The INCY WINCY SPIDER award for the rookie player who continued to make progress up the watery spout of the club's duplicate leader-board, despite numerous downfalls and pour results
• The DRESDEN award for the player who has taken the most sustained and undeserved flak but still emerged unscathed, going on to rebuild his/her game to the next level
• the CAMEO award for the player who without prompts found the only line of play to bring home a contract that no-one else managed.......even against best defence

( If any reader would like to suggest one or two of their own please use the comment box facility to forward them to me. If I get a sufficient number I shall publish another follow-up article quoting the best .....with credits duly acknowledged. Thank you. )