A TWO MINUTE INTERVIEW WITH BIGOT-JOHNSON...................

• "Come on..come on.....get on with it.....I haven't got all bloody day!"
• "Sorry....well, let's start off with....I know....What made up take up bridge?"
• " To put it simply...I fell head-over-heels in love with a woman who was a very keen bridge player and she introduced to the game...."
• "And what happened to her?"
• "Well, her game was so bad I had to ditch her......to seek out new partners who have at least some semblance of card sense and table presence."
• "Does it matter to you that club members have openly stated that your name describes you perfectly... .........a bigot who is riddled with prejudice, bias and extremist attitudes?"
• "Yes, if they happen to be on my " Very Special Friends" list, but no to the countless others who are not."
• "So what do you like to do outside Bridge?"
• "Hmm...not much really...but being a ken allotment man .... I find nicking veg off other peoples' patches saves me one helluva lot of money......I do enjoy reading a blog called WALNUT TREE ALLOTMENT ...written up by some weird Aussie bloke ....good read...full of interesting stuff... with quite a bit of humour tossed in for good measure."
• "And..what made you decide on doing this bizarrebridgeworld blog?"
• "Well, I got really pissed off with being the editor of the club newsletter when criticisms came in thick and fast. I'm very sensitive to criticism you know. So I thought sod you I'm going to find readers who will appreciate my talents....somewhere where there is an uncensored, restrained, anarchistic world in which I can run amok."
• " So as a final question....what would you ask for if you were granted one wish?"
• " The re-introduction of capital punishment....there are crimes being committed at the bridge tables that warrant lynchings and up-against-the-wall shootings.......because... as yet..... nothing has been done to stop them..."
• "Interesting answer there....... an appropriate moment now..... I think.... to thank you for giving me the opportunity to put these questions to you..... and.... er..... is there anything you want to ask me?"
• "Yes.....how much am I getting paid for this interview?"
• "Nothing...."
• "Bugger...."