THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY.........................................................................

• Moron squeeze : one in which a clueless and dumb declarer thinks he is executing a squeeze, when it is plainly apparent to all the other players at the table that such a possibility does not exist
• Pseudo squeeze : this is another example of a moron squeeze but with one fundamental difference. Here the declarer knows that a squeeze is not possible, but the clueless defenders convince themselves otherwise. This false belief and distortion of reality often leads them to make reckless and rash mistakes with their discarding.
• Cue bid : this occurs when rather rude and impatient players push ahead of others, so that they can be first in line to be served at the bar
• Tempo : the rhythm generating by those annoying types of opponent, who are forever strumming or tapping their fingers on the table
• Feature : something you would like to do in a team match but your general lack of ability condems you..... everytime...... to being exposed as the worst pair ( after the butler scoring results come through )
• Closed hand : a euphemism for declarer's clenched fist