THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY................................................

• Partner : someone who took up bridge to make your life miserable
• Small Slam : the noise made by a player after a disastrous evening's bridge, as he/she leaves the club by the front door
• Grand Slam : this involves the front door thrown back with so much force, the noise is accompanied by the sound of shattering glass
• 'A' Team : the club's premier players, whose personalities and gung-ho bridge tactics resemble those of the characters in the TV series of the same name
• 'B' Team : players whose occasional flights of fancy cost them 'A' team status, but they still possess the ability to sting most opponents
• Vienna Coup : a term first coined in 1954 when the Austrian capital hosted the World Bridge Teams finals. Using an extremely clever ploy, a frisky young American player managed to get off with a well known lady international, from right under the nose of her husband and bridge partner.
• Elvis Presley Coup : this involves an unusual play of the cards, which requires a player to keep ' The King ' alive for as long as possible
• Patience : a quality that most bridge players have in short supply. The reason for this unfortunate shortcoming was explained very simply by Howard Bigot-Johnson : " Since the average person's small supply of politeness must last him all his life, how can he possibly afford to waste it on bridge partners ? ".