BEST BEHAVIOUR AT BRIDGE: EBU NEEDS TO ADOPT CARP'S CHARTER ............ There are articles all over the place droning on about unpleasantness within the game. This insensitive behaviour not only ruins the enjoyment of those adversely affected, but it makes the future of bridge look very bleak indeed. Potential newcomers may be put off from making enquiries, or they quickly leave clubs after their first experience of aggressive table antics. So I have come up with a list of rules that the EBU should impose upon all its members. Any breach of these rules, clubs should be advised to suspend members on the first two occasions, but on the third breach it's a permanent exit from the club. Bridge has to be an enjoyable experience for everyone. All players are entitled to leave the club on any evening with happy memories........and with egos intact. The rules in question are in a charter, entitled:

• "WOULD YOU PLEASE ZIP IT, PARTNER ! "
• The purpose of this charter is to get all players striving to earn reputations for being tolerant, polite and courteous. Respect should only come to players who show understanding, forgiveness and empathy to others. For many, such behaviour comes naturally, but for the rest the following code of practice needs to be spelt out.
• Don't preach rule: Don't give lessons ( unless of course you have been paid to do so ). Moreover, to presume that you are beyond reproach for your bridge prowess is the height of vanity. Is your name Zia, or what ?
• Don't criminalise rule : Never insult or crime your partner for an action regarded as "normal" or "standard", which.....as it does on some occasions.....results in a poor score.
• Reciprocation/discretion rule: Never say anything to your partner which you would object to, if someone had said the same to you. If you are unsure about whether or not to say something......say nothing. Unless your intent is to clear up a misunderstanding avoid discussing the hand just played. And if you cannot resist making a remark, at least try to be discreet.
• Accomplice rule: Never criticise or embarrass your partner in front of others. Moreover, never gang up with the opposition if they should make any cruel or disparaging remarks about your partner's bidding and/or play.
• Anger management rule : If you cannot overcome the urge to explode.......desperate to bombard partner with nasty, sarcastic, loud, destructive verbal missiles......then take a short walk into the club's car parking area outside. Once out of ear-shot , muffle your screams into one of the cushions, handily located by the exit doors for such a contigency.
• Humour therapy rule: Try to embrace the idea that it is OK to enjoy the game, and have fun at the same time. Why not for a change share a laugh with partner, over the comedy of errors that landed you both in the mire.
• Responsibility rule: If you must feel the need to consult other players about hand disasters, in the bar afterwards, as part of the post-mortem ritual, then only deal with issues concerning your play and bidding....and not partner's.
• Balancing rule: Saying only negative things to partner smacks of cruelity and persecution. Always attempt to balance any negative feedback with positive feedback. Choose to look for positives first, and be willing to compliment and praise partner whenever you can. If you're not prepared to say anything which is helpful or supportive, say nothing at all.
• Privilege rule : If partner has given his/her consent to hear what criticisms you're keen to make, do not abuse this privilege. Use it to provide constructive criticism, and helpful advivce....it does not give you the right to sling insults and hurtful remarks.

But will the EBU adopt this charter....who knows? But for anyone who plays bridge and has just read this blog, the message is clear. So please go out and spread the doctrine...............there's no time to lose.