DR. JOHN'S CASE NOTES.......................................

• CRONON'S SYNDROME : This syndrome was first discovered in the early 1930's, when a pioneering psycho-analyst came across a sufferer during a major bridge tournament in London. He had only attended the venue in order to watch his wife play. As it happened, the afflicted person had just received some prize money by coming in fifth, whereupon he began to crow non-stop to all and sundry about his superior bridge prowess. This endless diatribe, full of self-worship and self-congratulations, concerned this analyst so much that he appealed to this nauseating individual to visit his surgery as soon as possible for urgently-needed therapy. Inevitably, he received an emphatic rejection only to see him drone on with even more determination to boast about his brilliant triumphs and coups. However, the risk of this syndrome getting out of control was growing by the minute......a situation that was causing untold distress and abject misery to all those cajoled and obliged to listen. The analyst could take no more, and so he immediately seized him by his throat, throttling him to death. This brought instant relief to all those concerned.....not to mention endless rounds of cheering and applause, befitting of a hero's intervention. Not surprisingly, a charge of murder was brought before the Old Bailey judge, but common sense prevailed when the sympathetic jury had no hesitation in returning a "not guilty" verdict. They explained to the judge that this was, in their eyes, a case of justifiable homicide. The judge. who also had a pathological hatred for braggers and boasters, agreed.