YOU KNOW YOU ARE OVER THE HILL WHEN...........

• asked to cut the pack, you call out for a pair of scissors
• sitting in the pass out seat means exactly that
• you define a good hand as the one that can actually keep hold of the cards
• a prolonged hesitation causes others to call for a doctor rather than the TD
• half-way through the play of the hand you asked to be reminded what the trump suit is
• partners start to congratulate you whenever your declarer play earns a 50% board
• after playing a spade on the first round of clubs, you accuse all the other three of revoking
• you are given a sitting seat even though you didn't ask for one
• your opponents mistake your comatose moments as unethical hesitations
• you start arranging the your hand into 5 suits: black, red, black, red, black......
• your % scores continue to move in the opposite direction to your age
• asked " when's the next movement due ? ", you reply " when I next spend a penny "

( More observations by Pun )