BRIDGE QUOTATIONS: THE CLASSIC ONE-LINERS..( By Carp ) Bridge players are well renown for their sharp wit and biting sarcasm. No can dispute their ability to make stinging remarks or cutting jibes. Bridge stories often focus on the banter between players, rather then the deal or the play of the cards. So here's a few of my favourite quotations that will no doubt strike a chord with bridge players, who have endured hopeless partners over the years:

• Where's the hand you held during the auction?
• Is it me or are my partners all weird ?
• Why is it that nobody can see what I see ?
• I hate this game I love
• Let me guess partner..... it wasn't a play error.....it was a play concept error
• Sorry....but my partner plays forcing hesitations
• My partner's defence is very average.....he always operates in a fog of uncertainty
• If you have the slightest touch of masochism, you'll love this game
• Players like you, who reckon they have a feel for the game, lack the logic to be successful
• What should you have discarded ?....... Any notion whatsoever you can play bridge