CRIME SHEET FOR WAYWARD BRIDGE PLAYERS ( page 3 )......... Yet again, taking the lead from our very own UK Road Traffic Act, here are a few more crimes that need to be recorded and dealt with in order to tackle the widespread problem of poor bridge.

DEFENSIVE PLAY CRIMES:

• Pulling (cards) out in front of others
• Causing a hold-up and/or accident
• Giving way.... to temptation
• Aiding and abetting declarer
• Failing to signal
• Failing to give correct indications
• Failing to spot signals
• Ignoring danger signs
• Not maintaining a constant speed or tempo
• Making incorrect turns at crucial junctions
• Negligent steering
• Losing direction
• Failing to park.....away losers
• Allowing declarer to get away with murder
• Causing unnecessary delays through long hesitations and indecisiveness
• Causing partner to commit acts of uncontrollable table rage

The list could go on for much longer, but one needs to be careful when handing your hapless partner his/her first crime sheet details. Too many ticks and board number statistics could be hard to take in at first. However, once your partners get used to the idea of being " crimed " each and every week, then you can afford to list all their crimes, big and small. This can be done in total confidence that your partners are now thoroughly conditioned, to take on board all their short-comings, faults and failings.