THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY................................

• Splinter : what's often left under player's skin after his irate partner has stabbed him with his pencil
• Insufficient bid : one which is made with little or no thought whatsoever
• Pass out : a requirement many male players find themselves requiring, if wanting permission from their wives to play yet another game of bridge
• Goldwater rule : this states that any lead out of turn should generally be accepted : the rationale being that if a player does not know whose lead it is, then there is no chance whatsoever that the lead can be right for the defence.
• Fourth highest : the smallest person at the table
• Overcall : this occurs when two players are exchanging insults, but one is able to shout above the other
• ROPI : how one might feel when turning up to play bridge, having been out on a real bender the night before. The term is an acronym for having previously been.... rat-arsed, obliviated, pissed, inebriated.
• Fast arrival : usually occurs when a player gets over-excited by his partner's jump bid. Inevitably, it creates a rather awkward and sticky situation at the table.
• Wriggle : something a player is forced to do when feeling distinctly uncomfortable in his seat. This inability to sit still always occurs after a fast arrival ( see above ).
• Phantom endplay : a cleverly engineered manoeuvre where a defender is given the lead, being forced to lead away from an honour he doesn't possess
• Wrongside : not the side of partner you want to get on if he is feeling particularly irritable or grumpy
• Amnesia Double : this occurs when a player elects to make a lead directing double, failing to realise that he/she is on opening lead