THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY.........................................

• Pair : A term given to a couple of complete buffoons due to arrive at your table, often used in a statement " We've got a right pair coming our way, partner. "
• Pudding raise : A bid made by a dim-witted, simple-minded partner .....the proverbial pudding.....who chooses to raise you in your suit to the 3 level, simply because he/she hasn't the gumption, nous, vision or ability to find a more constructive, inventive, informative, or creative ( alternative ) bid.
• Pin : Something a player needs to carry on his person to occasionally stick into partner's leg ( under the table ) in order to (a) keep him awake and fully focussed, or (b) to make him lead a card to trap an opponent's lower ranking honour underneath.
• Perfect bridge hand : This crops up when partner holds his cards in such a way, that the positioning of his fingers gives a perfect reading of the shape, distribution and strength of his holding.