DR. JOHN .....I'VE HAD ANOTHER STRANGE DREAM........

- Make yourself comfortable Bigot....... on the couch over there.......and tell me all about it

- Well, in this dream I am competing in the Walnut Tree Allotment BC Swiss Teams Congress, against a load of top class teams from all the nearby villages and hamlets. And as destiny would have it....my team won the event by a country mile.......but tragically, and unbelievably, we were all dead before the evening had ended.

All four dead bodies turned up at the local mortuary in the early hours of the morning.......yet on each face there was a huge smile. The police, coroner and the press were desperate to know how this very bizarre and strange co-incidence had come about. The answers that came back were as comical as they were shocking.

The first victim, namely Curly Coxcomb, died of a heart attack. He was so overcome with joy as he laid his hands on his first ever trophy, his weak and fragile heart just simply conked out.

The second body was that of Melvin Mundungus. He foolishly celebrated to excess, and when he threw the trophy high into the air, he forget to look up to see where it went. Being quite a weighty object, it came whistling down to land straight on top of his head, cutting into it like a axe.

The third one , who was that uncouth Aussie Willie Whangdoodle, also died in high spirits when he walked home flashing his winnings to all and sundry. A swift knife attack from an opportunistic mugger completely stopped him in his tracks.

And as for the last one....well that corpse was me..... Bigot-Johnson......but my death was the most bizarre of all. I was struck by lightning just as I left the venue, but I never suspected.......... Well, some bloody idiot told me local photographers were lined up outside, all ready to take a few flash photos........

- Hmmm...... all that tells me Bigot is that you are a manic depressive, who even in your moment of glory allows the dark clouds of torture and despair to come down and engulf you. Happiness has never been a part of your life, and in your warped and twisted mind.... happiness is something that never will. Your early childhood has simply programmed you to thrive on rejection, failure and disapppointment.....

- Oh bugger