THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY......................

• Cut : 1 of a 1000 partner will inflict upon you as punishment for your transgressions
• Unacceptable call : a request to the club steward for another drink, which unfortunately is " after hours "
• 2 club response : this occurs when both opponents lay into you simultaneously, each using something akin to a truncheon
• Turn : a sudden but dramatic change of mood, which sees contentment and compliance being replaced by irritation and awkwardness
• Convention : a collective noun for a rather large huddle of smug, cocky, back-scratching, bridge playing sycophants
• Support bid : something you never get from a selfish, contract hogging, egocentric partner
• Pack : a term which was first coined in an Alaskan BC over 50 years ago, when a large number of players (52 in all ) set about to hunt down and hound out a member, who they desperately wanted to see the back of. The story handed down was that they kept on howling away at the committee members until they finally relented. Then the committee used a trumped up charge against him to impose a life-long ban. " The Ballad Of Old Neil Peck " became a well known Canadian folk song, in which the lyrics detailed the whole sorry saga.