THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY......................

• Chicago : a rubber bridge format where the cut can often put the wind up the player, who draws the bumbledog partner
• Game : a highly desirable characteristic eagerly sought after in an attractive female partner
• Boss suit : a term used to describe the captain's formal apparel chosen for big match occasions. This is to done in order to ram home the message that " I'm the one with the superior status and position in this team ".
• Freak hand : this term was first coined during a game of rubber bridge, in which the Frankenstein monster was sitting North. On picking up an 9-4-0-0 distribution, he boldly announced that in his possession he had a " freak hand " , an observation which the other three players readily endorsed. This was not surprising given the fact it had a two-foot span, four fingers and two thumbs........not to mention warts the size of tennis balls.
• Milton : the name of the person who came up with an easy and heavenly way of evaluating honour cards. However, nearly all top players today regard the method as both crude and inadequate, claiming that the simple-minded Milton must have been in paradise lost at the time.