THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY..........................................

• Tournament : a highly competitive event where noble players go to joust with their peers
• Hindsight : a wonderful skill which most mediocre and poor players possess, seemingly able to determine the correct way to have made the contract.....but only after going down in the actual play
• High low : the usual sequence of emotions experienced by nearly all duplicate players : full of confidence as they arrive at the club, but full of woe as they leave
• Direct raise : a sudden bulging movement, an over-excited player might experience in the groin area of his trousers, often causing huge embarrassment to both himself and his provocative female partner
• Positional holding : something which needs to be to be achieved before any entry attempt can be made
• Bottom line : the place on the results sheet where you expect to see your name
• West side story : a fictional account of an incident given to the TD, which totally contradicts the version given by either North or South
• Partnership understanding : a feat rarely achieved, except for a mutual acknowledgement that the player who fouled up the most is destined to get a right good rollocking from the other