NOW IF FRANK SINATRA HAD BEEN A BRIDGE PLAYER THEN THE LYRICS OF " MY WAY " WOULD HAVE BEEN COMPLETELY DIFFERENT.......... ( New suggestions by Dr. Sigmund T. Schukelgruber )

And now the match is over

I must face the final curtain

The captain goin' to do me in

That I know for certain

I have never played like such a dick

I find it hard to say

Hopeless contracts I take the blame

But I had to bid them my way

Doubles, oh there were a few

In fact, too many to mention

Most cost 500 plus and more

Always without exception

In defence I did my best

Not to go astray

But declarer read my signals

To find a winning way

Yes, then there were times in which I knew

I'd bitten off more than I could chew

For on rare occasions, when there was hope

I blew my chances like a dope

I felt so stupid, so very small

Now comes the time to grovel and crawl

I binned that many contracts I cried out loud

I'd played like a cretin, I wasn't proud

And here's the Captain with his evil eye

About to sentence me to die

He said I played like " an utter prat "

But I'll have him know I've played worse than that

So bloody what..... if it wasn't my day

We all at times choose the wrong way

So here I stand like a battered loser

Captain's buggered off to the local boozer

To drown his sorrows, to curse and swear

For he's not a man who likes to care

'Bout injuries I got from his vicious blows

But hey... that's the way his captaincy goes