Back by popular demand...... the first of two artivcles entitled :

AS BRIDGE PLAYERS YOU KNOW YOU'RE OVER THE HILL WHEN.....

- You realise caution over your bidding and play is the only thing you care to exercise

- You begin to suspect former partners were right after all in claiming you had no feel for the game

- Playing weekend bridge away constitutes " letting your hair down "

- The team captain is a good thirty years younger than you

- You find yourself recognising the names of all the house plants recently purchased by your club

- You start making that special please-have-sympathy-for-me groaning noise whenever you get up from your chair

- Your weight-lifting routine now only includes lifting cards from the boards

- You argue back with every partner, opponent and TD, but never accepting the fact that you could be wrong

- You complain bitterly about the " arrogant " young bridge players of today

- You discuss between hands the problems of leaking gutters and inadequate roof lagging

- You only look to join bridge clubs that have front-door parking facilities