THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY REVISITED......................

• Hesitation : the best method ever devised to communicate information about your hand without having to move the bidding on
• Hand : something an errant player will often see coming his way in the form of a clenched fist
• Tank : what dull and slow players lower themselves into before submerging themselves in abstract thought and indecision
• Protest : a well chosen euphemism to describe an intense verbal barrage aimed at a TD over a ruling that didn't meet with universal approval
• Professionals : players who earn a living from bridge by eliminating mistakes from their game, which the rest of us carry on making........ time and time again
• Truscott : a shortened version of an original, but infamous, outburst of " Trust Scott !! " . Way back in 1953 at Stourbridge BC the poor hapless Scott was sitting there with the doubleton AQ of spades over declarers KJ10 to six. The contract was 6S, and when declarer played a spade from dummy up to his jack, Scott went in with the Ace, having buried his queen of spades in amongst his clubs. When his partner realised what Scott had done, he screamed out aloud " Trust Scott.......... to let an unmakeable slam make............what a tosser ! ".
• Promotion : what players foolishly spend their money on in an attempt to move up a rankings ladder that has no real significance or validity
• Trump squeeze : the tightening of a player's bowel muscles in an attempt to release a huge build up of methane gas in a slow, quiet and controlled way