WHAT I SUGGEST THE ACBL SHOULD DO WITH WHAT'S LEFT OF THE PETER PENDER BEQUEST................... ( Article by Carp )

The solution is simple : create in-house (Peter Pender) awards, which of course would perpetuate the memory of his name for years to come. These awards can only be given to officers and executives of the ACBL for their outstanding achievements in the following categories of maladministration :

- THE OSTRICH HEAD-IN-THE-SAND AWARD for the officer who manages to keep him/herself completely in the dark over some contentious issue

- THE STEALTHY HANDS AWARD for the officer who, when empowered to move money around, manages to spirit some it away into secret or " thin air " accounts

- THE SCREW-IT-UP-BIG-TIME AWARD for the officer responsible for the biggest and most shameful cock-up of the year

- THE SOD-YOU-I-DON'T- GIVE-A-DAMN AWARD for the executive who consistently displays contempt and disregard for those he/she claims to serve

- THE PONTIUS PILATE AWARD for the executive who rigidly adheres to the " it has nothing to do with me " policy, despite being the very person everyone looks up to for an answer

- THE BUTTER-DOESN'T-MELT -IN -MY-MOUTH AWARD goes to the executive, who puts on a convincing air of sweet innocence and purity, to completely mask the evil that lurks within

- THE PINOCCHIO AWARD for the officer who tells lies constantly in an attempt to get out of trouble, oblivious to the fact that he/she has no real " nose " for it

- THE BUCK PASSING AWARD for the senior executive, who displays great timing and skill in transferring onerous responsibilities onto subordinates, whenever the roof is about to cave in

- THE WISHY WASHY EXCUSES AWARD for the officer who is able dream up the most amazingly awful, pathetic and vague excuses, so as to avoid to saying " sorry "

- THE I'LL -GET -AROUND-TO- DOING -IT-TOMORROW AWARD for the officer who shirks his/her responsibilities, by sheer and persistent procrastination

- THE MONEY- IS- OURS- SO -WE -CAN- DO- WHAT- WE- LIKE- WITH- IT AWARD for the power-obsessed executive who is so arrogant, his/her dismissive behaviour towards others simply beggars belief

- THE FRIGHTENED RABBIT AWARD for the officer who, rather than answer or apologise to an injured party , immediately heads off to the hills to find a safe bolt-hole