AN ALMOST TRUE BUT AMAZING STORY......... ( By Bridgemeister Gibson )

The Walnut Tree Allotment Society BC has over the years attracted many members from the local farming community. Many of them are inbred as evidenced by both their physical and mental abnormalities. Bigot-Johnson's latest partner happened have extremely big feet, but was by far the smallest player in the club. In fact he was so small he had to stand up at the table in order to play and see the cards.

During one duplicate event the midget man was shifting around in a great deal of discomfort, driving Bigot to distraction. " For God's sake man.....stop fidgeting around....what the devil is up with you ? "

His embarrassed partner, a farmer and occasional novelty circus act performer, looked up to Bigot, and replied in a rather sheepish mannner : " I'm so sorry......but my private parts are so sore.....and I've no idea why "

Bigot stared hard at the man as though he was the world's dumbest person. Then he strode off to the club house kitchen only to return with a pair of scissors. Approaching his partner from behind , he starts snipping away for all he was worth.

Oblivious as to what was going on, his partner suddenly experienced a huge sense of relief. The irritation and discomfort had all gone.

" Wow....I feel so much better. What on earth did you do ? "

Bigot looked flabbergasted . His disbelief and contempt for the dwarf had reached new heights.

" You great muppet....I simply trimmed 2 inches off the tops of your wellies ! "