BIGOT'S ATTEMPTED COUP BACKFIRES.........

( A nearly true story by Bridgemeister Gibson as told in the Bawtry Gazette, concerning one of many Bigot's court room battles with Percy Pantopod )

The judge stunned a packed courtroom, when at the start of the trial he made the following announcement :

" Before we begin this case.....I must publicly report the fact that both Bigot-Johnson and Percy Pantopod offered me bribes ...."

Gasps of sheer disbelief peppered the courtroom for what seemed an age.

When the breathlessness subsided the implacable judge continued : " It must be put on record that Bigot-Johnson presented me with a cheque for £25,000, while the less fortunate, and less well off, Percy Pantopod only presented me with a cheque for £20, 000.

Even louder gasps of disbelief bounced around the courtroom, as observers struggled to draw breath over what they were hearing.

Then the judge smiled as he leaned forward to speak , seemingly happy to turn a blind eye and show forgiveness to both these appalling reprobates : " So on reflection, it seems that I have no alternative but to give back to Bigot-Johnson a cheque for £5,000. This..... of course....now puts me in a position to proceed with the case, and make a decision purely on its merits........"