DR. SIGMUND T. SCHUKELGRUBER DEDICATES ONE OF HIS FINEST POEMS TO BIGOT-JOHNSON......... and any other desperately sad, hard-done-to, bridge wannabe

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Entitled " Longing "

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I have always wanted to be a winner

Honest to God

What I would give

To see me and my partner

Floating down that holy aisle

Leading to the stage

Where we would collect our trophy

And loads of spondoolies

To loud and rapturous applause

Please God

Just For once

Let me be a winner

Because if you do

I would swear on my mother's grave

Not to shout out

" About fucking time "

Neither would I laugh

In the stricken faces

Of the runners up

But I would

As sure as hell

Snatch that trophy

With both hands

To stroke it

Caress it

And kiss it

A thousand times over

As if it was

Marilyn Monroe's

Very own

Furry cup