DEFINING THE AVERAGE BRIDGE PLAYER : BIGOT-JOHNSON MAKES A FEW STABS...............

• a fairly dim sort of bloke who loves the game because it allows him to look clever
• an ignorant person who will never concede an argument over the bidding or the play of the cards
• one who despite being useless at bridge is convinced that he isn't
• a player who is more reasoning than reasonable
• a person you will never hear asking for advice
• one who pretends to think because he can't
• a player who after wrapping himself up in glory still remains a small package
• the kind of player who is wrongly diagnosed as having an inferiority complex, when in fact he is inferior
• one who is quite simply incredibly bad
• a player who gets himself into a hopeless contract and then blames it all on his partner
• a person who is more brain dead than deadly
• one who will always freeze in the head-lights of the expert's fast approaching Juggernaut