The time has come for me to talk about a condition so terrible, I simply refuse to treat any clients who have been diagnosed with it. Although this psychological disorder will affect only a few players , every bridge club will encounter this problem. For anyone cursed with inrevocatus consolio, he or she is compelled to heap untold misery, irritation and annoyance on those they choose to target.
Once the symptoms really take hold, nothing stops them dishing out unwanted advice. Sufferers completely delude themselves that the advice is of great value, and will be most appreciated. As a result they lavish great dollops of it on all those they feel will surely benefit from such pearls of wisdom. Strangely, there is never any intent to earn praise or reward, because it is the thought of being considered wiser than anybody else that drives them on.
Without exception, victims of this disorder end up receiving nothing but derision and ingratitude. They are unable perceive or recognise any negative response ! No matter how many attempts are made to impart wisdom onto others, their observations are repeatedly slagged off as irrelevant and insupportable.
However, nothing can stop them in their quest to enlighten those who seemingly play the game in abject ignorance with total lack of foresight. Their interjections are therefore seen as both necessary and vital, and any protestations about their irritating and annoying opinions are simply dismissed as " misplaced and misguided ". Indeed, a battery of " intro's " have been used as a means of worming their way into other players' private bridge discussions. Classic " butt- ins " such as :
- Excuse me ......
- Sorry to say, but you are wrong.....
- might I be allowed to make an observation.....
- I think my opinion could shed some light on this matter....
- if my experience counts for anything.....
- although I'm a little long in the tooth, I do know something about bridge....
- take a friendly hint from me.....
- I feel I need to correct you on this particular point....
- I couldn't help overhearing, but....
- however averse I am to offering advice, I consider it my duty to comment here....
- it is certainly not my right to comment, yet at the same time, there is a need to correct a wrong...
- how on earth did you manage to overlook this ?......
-oh dear, you have clearly neglected caution here ......
- you ought not to have done that.....
- I think my opinion is needed here
The list of unwelcome interjections seems endless, but since these poor afflicted souls perceive themselves as know- it- all gurus, it has become impossible to bring them down to earth as grounded people. As clients, they are hell to work with, as they constantly bombard me with advice on how to do my job properly ! The idea that they have a problem, or that their advice is flawed by a shocking combination of appalling ignorance and breath-taking arrogance, is completely alien to them. So not only will these delusional predators remain in constant self-denial, but they will always be there, waiting to pounce, the next time you go to the club.
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