BIGOT-JOHNSON ENCOUNTERS AN AWKWARD STUDENT........
( Having stepped in at the last moment to cover a second year class of intermediate students , Bigot found one of them extremely awkward and stubborn , as this short extract from their conversation reveals. )

B-J  : What is this card I am holding up ?
Student : The Ace of spades......
B-J : Try again....( still holding up the Ace of spades )
Student : The ace of spades....
B-J : For pity's sake man can't you see.....it's the 10 of clubs !
Student : No it's not....... it's the Ace of spades.....
B-J : Ok...let's try another card ....what's this one ?
Student  : The seven of diamonds.....
B-J : Try again.......( still holding up the seven of diamonds )
Student : The seven of diamonds.....
B-J : Are you off your head.....it's any card other than the seven of diamonds....for might I remind you....... the object of this exercise is for you to lie
Student : I can't ....I've always been told to tell the truth.......to bid the hand that is in front of me....to tell partner exactly what I've got
B-J : You sir are a complete tosser and woodentop. And I'm going to teach you how to lie and cheat....how to psych and deceive ......if it's the last thing I do. I'm going to teach you how to play real bridge.....the nasty, cruel and evil stuff........it's the only way to break your fixed mind set about bidding ,  which has been mistakenly programmed into you by those idiot teachers you've had before
Student : Oh dear...I know I'm honoured and privileged to have you as my teacher.....but I could never bring myself to be a dishonest, deceitful, and unpleasant player ...like yourself........ even if they are the very qualities that could turn me into a better player
B-J : I am trying to teach you a very important lesson about psyching....
Student : You are trying to teach me to lie...
B-J : Listen mulehead.....psyching....lying....call it what you like....is a vital part of this game. It is a very useful psychological weapon. Without it you are naked and impotent.......if you can't lie you can never generate swings, or tops out of nothing......opponents will never be in any doubt about what you have in your hand......they will never be conned into making wrong assumptions or put to guesses which are doomed to be wrong 
Student : Yes, I understand where you are coming from..... and that lying is an integral part of the game.....perhaps ingenious....definitely cunning......but I just can't do it..
B-J : Well bugger off then.... because this noble game doesn't need blinkered ,  honest and truthful toe-rags like you.......