DR. JOHN MAKES AN ASTOUNDING DIAGNOSIS ....( During an interview with Carp )

- Is it true Dr.John that you are an expert in the field of rare and unusual disorders affecting only bridge players ?
- I believe so
- Good...so let's get down to some real diagnosis then
- Why not indeed
- So tell me then what do you make of a player who.....holds court over others because he loves the sound of his own voice and is full of his own self-importance ?
- I haven't a clue
- And what do you make of a player who....never rates anyone as good as himself, even if that individual has achieved unparallelled success at the highest level ?
- I can't answer that either
- Well how about a player who......prides himself on being a win-at-all-costs results merchant ?
- No idea at all
- Good grief man....surely you can provide a diagnosis for one of the following....such as a player who

• sees faults in others but never himself
• loves to indulge in the relentless haranguing of partners
• always lays the blame on others 
• never practises what he preaches
• constantly sets out to spoil the experience of bridge for others
• uses every opportunity to call the TD over to secure book rulings in his favour
• overacts to any incident by throwing tantrums and threatening to walk off 
• demands apologies from others but is never prepared to make any of his own
• expects others to overlook his transgressions, but is very quick to write letters of complaint if anyone transgresses against him 
• loves to provoke others but then bitterly complains when they retaliate or stand up to him 
• exploits weak and timid opponents to a barrage of light openers, overcalls, psychic bids and system deviations
• claims to be ethical but employs all kinds of intimidating tactics himself

- Well to be honest.... I can't put a label on any of them
- For pity's sake man....surely you can  diagnose the type of player who possesses all the above character traits ?
- Oh that's easy.......he would be a classic case of the BIGOT-JOHNSON SYNDROME.... but less  knowledgeable folk would diagnose him as a COMPLETE ARSEHOLE

( The above article was inspired by a recent blog by Judy Kay-Wolff entitled " Pet Peeves " which is well worth a read )