( Article by Toxic Ted Bateman )
( The completely paranoid, despotic and insane Bigot-Johnson has recently formed , in a desperate attempt to protect and consolidate his power base as chairman of the Slaughter House BC , several rather dubious and suspicious looking sub-committees. So here we have the definitive list of highly recommended sub-committees , which any sensible club management team ought to set up in the quest to maintain power and control over dissident members . )
- ASSET : Active Surveillance and Spying on Extreme Troublemakers
- CISSI : Covert Investigations and Spanish Style Inquisitions
- FAECES : Falsification and Alteration of Evidence Counter-productive to Extermination Strategies
- DEFACE : Devising Erroneous False Allegations Complaints and Exhortations
- PIGI : Propaganda Incursions and Gerrymandering Initiatives
- CRAC : Constitution Re-adjustments Amendments and Changes
- PEDS : Promotion and Establishment of Double Standards
- PPP : Protection and Pampering of Prima-donnas
- HUMP : Highly Unethical Methods and Procedures
- DUMP : Dissident Undermining and Mudslinging Practices
- MUPPET : Manifestly Unusual Procedures for Pantopod Extermination and Torture
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