( At long last the Cardinals Bridge Club committee were given a golden opportunity to get rid of Bigot-Johnson for once and for all . Over 24 separate complaints came in against him regarding the same incident, which had rocked the club to its core. A short extract from the hearing's transcript appears below ).
Chairman : Bigot.....there's no comeback for you this time....we've got you on a disciplinary charge that's so serious , it's curtains for you.....
B-J : How come ?
Chairman : We've received letters of complaint from every member who witnessed your appalling behaviour last Thursday night .... midway through the duplicate
B-J : I wasn't quite myself that night...
Chairman : Be that as it may , but when you let rip at all and sundry , who were only trying to calm you down , the language you used was certainly more than blue !
B-J : Yes , I admit there was the odd " F" word in amongst my rants and insults.....but I can't stand interfering , meddling do-gooders.....
Chairman : Well, firstly I need to point out there were 47 " F" words used...........to be exact .... alongside some other appalling expletives....all horribly vulgar and offensive.
Indeed some of words used were so obscene they would have shocked even ladyboy sailors who regularly read " Viz"......and secondly , these so called do-gooders were only trying to stop you committing acts of extreme physical violence , and criminal damage to property
B-J : I was a tad upset....in fact East started me off on a blow out when he accused me of not bidding in tempo
Chairman : Upset .....you were monstrous , murderous and maniacal. Whatever happened to tact and diplomacy , where just a quiet word in someone's ear about your distress and concern would have been sufficient ?
B-J : But once my gander was up I felt an overwhelming compulsion to voice my angst and annoyance in a way that my doctor recommends as self-therapeutic....
Chairman : Might I remind you that many of the members present were obliged to seek therapy, after being at the receiving end of your sharp and vulgar tongue
B-J : Well.....it's all spilt milk now....and so what are you big cry-babies going to do about it ?
Chairman : Ban you.......
B-J : You can't......it's against the law .....such an action would be in breach of my human rights
Chairman : But you're not human....you're a monster
B-J : Not so.....because clearly you perceive me as a troublesome member when in fact I am nothing more than a " troubled " member......a man who is troubled and cursed with a terrible medical...or should I say...mental disorder
Chaiman : What's that ?
B-J : Tourette's Syndrome....and that qualifies me as a disabled person....one who is covered by The Disability Discrimination Act of 2005. This says I have a right not to be discriminated against on the basis of my unfortunate affliction. Why ..here you are....a load of pompous , self-righteous hypocrites....condemning and using my disability as an excuse to get rid of me. Any court would see this discrimination as shameful and wrongful
Chairman : This is preposterous......you've not got Tourette's....
B-J : Now....in the words of Bruce Banner....please don't get me mad , because....oops....too late.....I'm turning green.....and now you arse-licking mother-f....ers.....you're in for a right f....ing good hiding....
Chairman : Please no...it's ok....we'll not ban you.... that's a promise ......but please put down Mrs Frobisher ...........she's far too fragile to be thrown across the room like you've just done with Mr. Vickers.....
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