RUMOUR HAS IT ............ ( Research article by Dr. Sigmund T. Schukelgruber )

Speculation abounds that A. A. Milne based his Winnie The Pooh story books on the seriously troubled characters he encountered at his local bridge club. Indeed , the Hundred Acre Wood is a metaphor for a typical bridge club ,  where hundreds of members will have psycho-social problems , many of which are not recognised...... let alone  treated.

The characters in his stories , just like their counterpart bridge players , would all be better off with psycho-active drugs and ongoing counselling. One researcher claims that  the purpose of Milne's stories was to remind the world at large that people who love to play games , often fall victim to a whole raft of unusual and disturbing disorders.

Pooh , of course , depicts a player with limited brain power , who clearly suffers from the condition known as ADHD ( attention deficit hyperactivity disorder ). His fixation with honey equates to a player's fixation with cards , and his repetitive counting behaviours mirrors the practice of counting up to 13 over and over again. This suggests that bridge players , like Pooh , have obsessive compulsive disorders as well. Add to that acute learning problems ,   observers  might well reach the conclusion that Pooh-like bridge players suffer from " skaken bear syndrome ", having been regularly thrown downstairs by irate partners , their heads bumping on each and every step.

If one was to take a look at the piglet type player , being one who clearly has a generalised anxiety disorder , then we soon recognise that bridge clubs are over-run with dozens of these panic-stricken little piggy-wiggies. As for the Eeyores of the bridge world there are plenty of them too . Chronically depressed and forever bemoaning their wretched luck , lack of points and lack of the success . In sharp contrast to them ,  clubs will have their fair share of Tiggers , who love to " bounce in " unannounced , show off and take outrageous risks.

However, the story character who  depicts players suffering from an embarrassing form of brain disorder is the owl, who clearly has an unfortunate condition linked to dyslexia. The Roos represent players who behave like delinquents for lack of good role models , while the Kangas are simply  who the thwarted and frustrated types , who suffer as a result of the club's woeful lack of ambition. Their plight is that  club management teams tend to focus on promoting a social and friendly atmosphere , at the expense of developing intense competition in order  to drive up standards to tournament level. 

Finally , we come to the stereotype that most players can be easily associated with : the Christopher Robins. Here we have adults behaving like complete lunatics spending all their time talking to animals , namely other stereotype bridge players. Moreover , they behave like children , the Peter Pans of this world ........ boys who refuse to grow up.  Constantly regressing back to their childhood  the Christopher Robins have only one aim in live , and that is to have adventures and fun with all their friends in the Hundred Acre Wood.

In conclusion , it has to be said that A. A. Milne overlooked one thing. The story book characters somehow turned the Hundred Acre Wood into a place of enchantment , whereas their human counterparts are only capable of turning bridge clubs into  places of disenchantment . Mad houses in fact..... where neuro-developmental and psycho-social problems abound . And because  no one as yet is  prepared to acknowledge this tragedy,  the disenchantment will linger on indefinitely. 

So for all you readers  who were on the verge of taking up duplicate bridge , then I suggest you think again....very very carefully. 

(  According to a BBC News report in Decembber 2000 ,  the original research was first published in the Canadian Medical Association Journal . However  subsequent research , as undertaken by Dr. John and his team ,  then discovered A. A. Milne's must have  based  the psychological profiles of his story book characters on real-life bridge players .  Dr. John himself once remarked " I cannot but wonder how much richer the lives of bridge playing Poohs might be today were they to have a trial of low-dose stimulant medication " . )