SLOW 
PLAYERS
SHOULD
BE SHOT
.........
.........
.........
( Or so says
Bridgemeister
Gibson ) 

It has always been my view that slow players ruin the game of bridge for others in so many ways. They cause their partners and opponents to experience exasperation , frustration and despair on a level that would overwhelm the tolerance and patience of a saint. Movements can fall behind schedule ,  with many pairs unable to play the full quota of boards on their round when paired against these visiting slowcoaches . Moreover , they are " cheats " in that they deny others at the table valuable time , which in theory has been allocated to them to decide , or ponder over , what bids or cards to play next. These times bandits can make time stand still ,,,,suspended in fact ......which brings me onto another wonderful poem ( with its illustration ) from Reginald Arkell's " Bridge Without Sighs ". 
Indeed , George Whitelaw's depiction of what happens at the table , when a slow player is still dithering over what card to play , is masterful..........a scene of unbearable suffering ,  which we have to live through week in week out at our local clubs.

SUSPENSION BRIDGE

There is a man at Clifton ,
Who is so wondrous slow ,
He sits and contemplates his hand 
For half an hour or so .
He sits and contemplates his hand
In agony and pain ;
And when he starts to play a card ,
He puts it back again .