AN SHOCKING STORY WITH JUST A WHIFF OF TRUTH..... ( By Bridgemeister Gibson )

During a match in Swiss Pairs competition held at Leeds , Bigot-Johnson was having a torrid time against opponents he regarded as rabbits. However , on six consecutive boards they had doubled him in contracts , and each time he suffered a whopping minus 500 penalty. Bigot of course appeared calm on the outside , but inside he was in raging turmoil. 
Then on the penultimate board of the set the same thing happened again. He found himself in a doubled 1NT contract going 2 off vulnerable. At this point Bigot completely lost his cool. He rose up from his chair , turned round ninety degrees , pulled down his trousers, and aimed the most enormous fart at his left-hand opponent : " Now try doubling that for penalties !! "  
It was about 5 minutes before the rest of the room had stopped laughing, especially when they got wind that Bigot had now been disqualified for blowing off.