BENIGN BRIDGE CLUB : ZTP Rule No. 678

No member, irrespective of how extreme the circumstances are, is allowed to berate, carpet, lambast, rap, rebuke, reprimand, scold, harangue, decry, lecture, remonstrate, mouth, rail, rant, badger, bedevil, chafe, henpeck, nag, needle, rile, accuse, or criticise his/her partner, let alone cause an unpleasant atmosphere by moaning, whining, bitching, carping, griping, groaning, grousing, growling, grumbling, snivelling, whimpering, and squawking under his/her breath.

At all times every effort must be made to suppress the natural urge and desire to tell your partner he is a complete idiot, bozo, clown, fool, prune, dolt, blockhead, imbecile, jerk, bumpkin, chuff, oaf, yoke, bonehead, muttonhead, cretin, moron, dimwit, dork, pudding, dumbbell, ignoramus, dunce,nincompoop, nitwit, twit, donkey, duffer, feather brain  or clod. 

All members are expected to smile and look happy, endeavouring to treat partners with the utmost respect, courtesy and politeness, irrespective of the extreme grief, pain, suffering, anxiety and frustration they may be experiencing. 

( Footnote : Any member, who is clearly distraught by the inane antics of his partner,  needs to be reminded that a black balaglava and baseball bat is available for hire, if he wishes to vent his spleen in an anonymous and self-satisfying way.......well OUTSIDE the boundaries of the club house. )