BRIDGE LAWS AND ETHICS : BIGOT-JOHNSON SETS UP
HIS VERY OWN SUB-COMMITTEE
( With so many ordinary club members stepping out of line, Bigot-Johnson decided  drastic action was called for. What was needed was a determined and robust attempt to inject discipline, order and control, where chaos and unpredictabilty existed before. Standards of behaviour were not to his liking and something had to be done.The three members of the sub-committee were all hand-picked, because of their known  "strange ways " reputation. Behind closed door secret interviews took place to make sure they were the right men for the job. Details of the job description and job specification are listed below.) 

Job Description:
1. To propose and implement new laws and rules, ensuring that enforcement is extremely thorough and effective.
2. To deal with law/rule breakers in keeping with the club's well established sub-zero tolerance policies. 
3. To ensure that all club members conduct themselves in a manner and way that meets the committee's high expectations.
4. To convert all potential troublemakers into faceless, bland, compliant, passive, harmless and gentle patsies.

Job Specification :   ( Candidate must have.... )
1. Excellent communication skills in getting across to club members the message that laws and rules have to be obeyed.
2. Expertise in motivating potential troublemakers to change their annoying and disruptive behaviour.
3. Expertise in determining what is the right and proper thing to do in all circumstances, and in all situations.
4. Great observational skills and all round vigilance in order to spot actual or potential breaches of the laws/rules.
5. Exceptional skills in dealing with wrongdoers, utilising a vast range of highly efficient and effective techniques.
6. Focus and initiative,  revealing an ability to work in the dark without any fuss, and making doubly sure their work does not attract any unwanted attention from genuine law enforcement agencies .