AN EXCLUSIVE ONE MINUTE INTERVIEW WITH THE NORTHERN PRO............. 

-  It's a privilege and a honour to be granted an interview with you....the great Northern Pro
-  Too right it is.....I don't normally give up my time for riff raff journalists like yourself......I've got 
   books to write 
-  Well, I see that you've won the prestigious Pheonix Club Championship Pairs event with a
   stunning 69% score in the second session
-  Yes......and if it wasn't for my hapless partner occasionally going walkabout we would have 
   cracked 80%
-  Oh.....so how come when I spoke to your partner yesterday, he claimed that you had been
   showered with lots of unexpected gifts from very over-obliging opponents
-  How dare you insinuate that my success was down to good fortune and not my skill.....top
   class bridge players make their own luck by forcing or trapping opponents into reaching 
   unmakeable or inferior contracts. Sadly, the bidding tactics I use to lead the opponents astray 
   are often lost on my one-dimensional partner
-  Yes....but that doesn't explain why on board 26 both opponents passed out the hand,  when 
    each had a 12 count....... giving you a galactic top in the process. Surely, that wasn't down to 
    your clever bidding ?
-  Listen muppet brain.....that particular pair were still shell-shocked from the previous board, 
    when I doubled on a 5 count in the pass out seat. This pushed them up a level, only to play 
    their contract off......... by foolishly placing me with most the missing key cards. 
-  So in all honesty how do you rate yourself as a player ?
-  Magnificent !
-  Is that it ?
-  Can anything be better than magnificent ?
-  No.....I guess not
-  Well, I'm off now to add another bidding refinement to my highly original, extremely convoluted
   bidding system.....
-  So what's it called ?
-  I've aptly named it the BAMBOOZLE CLUB.......and once I finish my book on it then everyone
   will have the chance to appreciate and adopt a truly great bidding system 
-  But are all the system bids legal ?
-  Of course they are.....but the sheer complexity of artificial bids and stepped responses ....... 
    where natural suit bids don't exist anymore.......are more than enough to see off LOLs,  
    causing panic and confusion in the ranks of bridge numpties and illiterates.......
-   I'm speechless !
-   Clearly.......you're not a man of vision